I have refereed literally hundreds of matches. I have attended multiple Referee Clinics held be the West Australian Federation of Brazilian  Jiu-jitsu. I have been certified by the Australian Federation of Brazilian Jiu-jitsu as a referee. I have attended day long rules seminars with Alvaro Mansor, the Rules Director of the International Brazilian Jiu-jitsu Federation. Every time before I referee, I re-read the rules, all 44 pages of them.

People complain about referees. They complain about referees who make mistakes. The complain about referees who don’t give advantages or points where they would have. They complain about things that aren’t even a part of the rules… “Where are my side control points?” “Why didn’t I get sweep points?”, when it was actually a turnover.

Should you care to read the rules,  you would see there are some guiding principals in there, that give you direction as to what you need to do to win.

3.2 Matches should unfold as a progression of positions of technical control that ultimately result in a submission hold. Therefore athletes who voluntarily relinquish a position, in order to again score points using the same position for which points have already been awarded, shall not be awarded points upon achieving the position anew.

6.4 Serious Fouls

6.4.4 When an athlete on the ground evades combat by sliding his/herself outside the match area.

6.4.5 When an athlete on the ground stands to escape combat and does not return to combat on the ground.

6.4.6 When an athlete breaks the grip of the opponent pulling guard and does not return to combat on the ground.

6.4.21 When an athlete runs around the match area and does not engage in the combat.

6.5.1 Lack of combativeness (stalling) is defined by one athlete clearly not pursuing positional progression in a match and also when an athlete impedes his/her opponent from carrying out said progression.

 From this you can take the following principals:

1. Matches should unfold as a progression of positions of technical control.
2. A match should  ultimately result in a submission hold.
3. Not engaging in the fight is punishable within the rules.

So you may complain about a referees decision, or of the advantages or points you didn’t get, but the referee is merely providing a result because you failed to achieve the required objective.

If you didn’t win by submission, you didn’t win. You merely ran out of time, and forced the decision on the referee.